Beware of the Vonage Bots

I am going to stray from politics today to explain the most absurd thing in the history of consumerism. My wife (Agent V) and I thought about switching to Vonage rather than using Comcast, basically, because it was cheaper. ALWAYS remember the old saying, you get what you pay for. Well, we decided to only inquire about vonage. To do this, Agent V had to go along with the process like she was signing up. Mistake number 2 (mistake number 1 was even calling Vonage). At the end of this process, and after giving her credit card number (mistake 3) she was read the terms of service. Well, I guess because their service is so horrible they have a clause that if you cancel your service before 2 years, you have to pay a bunch of fees. Sounds like a cell phone company (and we know all about their service). Agent V said NO. The pushy sales guy said he would give her discounts, etc. Agent V, said NO again. The guy was a pushy schmuck and wouldn't stop, so Agent V said no one last time, and hung up the phone.

A few days later, what appeared at our door step? It sure wasn't Santa, but a box that said Vonage. The nice Vonage gnomes thought we would like Vonage, even though we said we didn't want it. Maybe because we said No, we really meant Yes or maybe we wanted it as art work. Well, unfortunately for us, this is not nearly the most absurd part of the story.

We call customer service about the fact that the sales guy sent us a Vonage device, even though we didn't sign up. Soon, we found out in order to talk to any one we needed to provide our account information. But wait, we didn't set up an account, we said no, and the guy sent us the box anyways. Doesn't matter to Vonage, you still need the account information. What would that be, well the device number, the email address you set up the account and the answers to the security questions. Well guess what...the guy created a fictitious email account for Agent V and then illegally charged her credit card. Sound like fraud and identity theft to you?

We only found this out after 3 hours on the phone with customer service people that literally had the IQ of snails. The tragic part of the story, we got cut off from the only one that had been given a human brain. I must have been the supreme leader of the Vonage Bots or was like Neo from the Matrix and had escaped the Vonage Bots. When these calls were taking place, we were driving to Florida for Christmas (a time of happiness around the world) and our cell phone got disconnected from the man with a brain, and that was the end of our luck.

Each time we called back, the the Vonage Bots asked for our security answers. Every time we told them that the Vonage Bot that it was a made up account and the email address, we had provided every email account we had, was made up by the sales guy (this is true, we were told by THE BRAIN that our CELL PHONE dropped the call on, but before the call dropped, we didn't get the fictitious email account in full. I can only assume THE BRAIN is now dead). So, every time we explained to the Vonage Bots that the security answers and questions were sent to the fictitious account. We had no access to it. We didn't know them, that fraud was involved. Their answer? How do we know it was fraud without out you giving us these answers. I immediately thought this should be a logic game on the LSAT, because there was going to be no reasoning with these people. We went in circles...I even told them I made up an email account for the Vonage Bot and sent them two security answers and asked them to tell me what they were...and when they couldn't, I said EXACTLY. They then asked for my security answers again. Vonage Bots cannot be rattled at all from the script.

After we told them what happened 30 times, went through 300 Vonage Bots, one with the name "Georgia Rule" (see Lindsay Lohan movies), they said they needed the device number that was at our house 200 miles away. We had lost round 1 with the Vonage Bots.

Today, Agent V calls back with the device number that was imported from the Russian KGB. They still asked for the security answers. Fraud, what is fraud? So, Vonage has stolen our credit card number (we had to cancel the card) and made up a fictitious email account and is basically forcing Vonage service on us. We will never be able to cancel because we don't have access to our own account that was created by Vonage. It's a brilliant new move by a business. If customers do not want to use your services, force it upon them and never let them cancel.

Now, we are going to have to file a police report, contact the appropriate government agencies and possibly sue Vonage. All I can do, is please ask everyone to tell this story from every mountain top and WARN EVERYONE to STAY AWAY FROM VONAGE!!!!!!! Or else, become a Vonage Bot victim (and if you don't believe me about the Vonage Bots, I am sure one of them will be posting my 2 hour screaming tirade with them on youtube one day...who am I kidding, they don't know how to turn on a computer or talk outside of their Vonage Bot scripts).